JOKES

General Musharaf, Vajpayee and a beautiful girl are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and ... it gets completely dark.Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.The girl and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
Musharaf is thinking: "Damn it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss the
girl,she thought it was me and slapped me."
The girl is thinking: "Musharaf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed
Vajpayee instead and got slapped."
Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I
could make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again."
 

microSOFT :-)

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and
communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew
toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed
safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

TRUE ENGINEERS :-)

Two engineering students were walking across campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
 

A BLONDE'S BET :-)

A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening.
The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who
is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll
take that bet," the blonde replied.
A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had,
indeed, jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for
having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she
does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50 dollars."
The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't
understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to
turn out."

"That's okay," the blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I
didn't think he'd do it again."